Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
