I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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