It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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