So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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