Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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