im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
