In the future we'll all be gay
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
