marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
