Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
