How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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