The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I would fuck him just for his dog
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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