I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
