Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize