it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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