The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
