This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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