i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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