i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
