I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were destined to go to rehab together
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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