Me. At least after what I've been through.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
