New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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