Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
