I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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