At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
