I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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