Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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