a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
