well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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