we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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