He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's just like the Real World with babies
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
