I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
