Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
