I am puke
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
