Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
