O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
