I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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