I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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