Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
