We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
