so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
