bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
