i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize