WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
