i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
