I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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