how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
