i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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