im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
