I love black thongs
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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