You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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