The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
