I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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