I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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