i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
