I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
