I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
