we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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