Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
