i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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