she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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