South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
