Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
