so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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