i think my tv is drunk
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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