i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
