He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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