if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
